Hook of the Week: Etsy Store

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Kevin here with another smokin’ Hook of the Week… and man, this is a good one.

If you want to know how long it should take you to write a really good 60-Second Sales Hook, this HoW should answer that question.

If you’re not familiar with Etsy, it’s a digital marketplace for artists of all types. 60-Second Sales Hook subscriber, David, promotes his digital photo service there and used the formula to craft his hook and submitted it to me before creating a video using the 60-Second Sales Video Maker.

With David’s permission, I’m revealing his “before and after” versions, where you’ll see…

  •  In his original version, David follows the formula well, but uses the wrong struggle and a weak discovery and call to action.
  • I suggested changes, but offer very little specifics, just where to add the information I’m suggesting.
  • David replies, just hours later with a stunning rewrite of the hook that nails every one of my recommendations. He even got out of his comfort zone and called himself a “nerd” and created a vivid portrait of himself and what makes his work unique among a crowded field.

I get excited by action-takers like David because they prove that we do our best work by instinct… and that over-thinking and hand-wringing never improve your writing, they simply stand in the way.

So here is the private email exchange between David and I, plus a link to his new Etsy “about page. My hat off to you, David. Excellent work.

++++++++++++
Hi Kevin
I recently purchased your 60 second video sales maker and starting practising the KLT hook.
Recently I opened a wee shop on etsy.com aimed at selling digital items of vintage images to other crafters and after learning about
the KLT hook, I could see myself applying to my Etsy “about me / my shop”, product descriptions, related marketing.
Created a KLT hook this morning related to my Etsy “about me” and wondered about your thoughts on it.
IDENTITY:  Hi I`m David the creator of Ye Old Digital Prints
STRUGGLE: When I discovered Etsy it felt like home, being able to create and connect
with other crafters. The problem though was “what do I create and sell from
my own Etsy shop?”
DISCOVERY: Browsing around Etsy I stumbled across various sellers of digital items and
instant downloads serving scrap bookers, paper crafters, digital artists,
jewellery makers and various other crafters. More specifically some were selling
vintage images, like old maps, photos and book illustrations, one of my own passions.
RESULT: That gave me the inspiration for Ye Old Digital Prints, where I provide digitized
vintage prints in formats suitable for scrap bookers, paper crafters, digital artists,
jewellery makers and various other crafters.
CALL TO ACTION:
So, if you’re looking for inspiration for your next crafting project or product
please take a browse through Ye old Digital Prints, discover something new today.
Happy crafting,
David

+++++++++++

Hi Kevin
 
Thank you very much for your assistance and the idea for my hook, I really appreciate it.
 
I wasn’t sure about using “nerd” at first to identify myself but then related it to similar words like geek, wizard, goto guy, techie
– specially techie describes my interest and skills in carpentry, handyman and computer technology. Also its a good word to
connect with other people in different parts of the world especially the USA (I`m from Scotland).
 
Following is the new edit I came up with:
 
IDENTITY:  Hi I`m David a 37 year old digital print nerd from a wee corner of Scotland.
 
STRUGGLE:  For a long time I struggled to work out how to transform old vintage prints into something suitable that crafters could use in their projects.
 
DISCOVERY: Then I discovered a whole new world of scrap booking templates and digital creation techniques that has opened up many new opportunities.
 
RESULT: Now I have the ability to transform old vintage prints into inspiring and useful digital craft supplies that are used by scrap bookers, paper crafters, jewellery makers, and many others.
 
CALL TO ACTION: So, if you’re looking for inspiration for your next crafting project or product come check out Ye old Digital Prints AND discover new inspiration… or contact me about custom options
 
(end hook)
 
Actually just started the digital prints a couple weeks ago after coming across them on etsy but have been creating / editing images on computer for over the years.
A bit of a nerd with technology and tools both old and new but did struggle to find out how to create suitable digital prints at first – the web is an awesome learning tool. 
I can see the above hook in a slide video with some images of scrapbook templates and examples of digital prints.
 
Have a great weekend
cheers,
David
+++++++++++
Pretty amazing transformation, eh? I’d say David made excellent use of his Saturday afternoon.
Here’s David’s About page on Etsy, and you can visit him here to check out some of his art.
David-Etsy
Bravo, David.
If you’ve got a KLT in Action that you’d like to see featured here, pop it in the comments below of send it to contact [at] 60secondsaleshook.com.
And if you know of anyone who could use help adding punch and clarity to their sales message, please share the link to my free book download at http://60secondsaleshook.com/
Best,
Kevin
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Kevin Rogers
Kevin Rogers
Kevin Rogers is a stand up comic turned copywriter and now a copy chief. Kevin is also a best-selling author of The 60-Second Sales Hook. He created Copy Chief to bridge the gap between biz owners eager to improve their sales conversions and copywriters eager to show off their hard-won copy chops.
Showing 17 comments
  • Chad Brocato
    Reply

    Great job, its so laser targeted to fellow “print nerds”, speaks directly to specific interests, then hooks you in wanting to know more. Awesome , love it. Good luck with it!

    • Kevin Rogers
      Reply

      Thanks, Chad. Nice to t see a HoW veteran stopping in 🙂

  • Marcin
    Reply

    This was very helpful. Thank you Kevin.

    • Kevin Rogers
      Reply

      All credit goes to David, Marcin. Glad you liked it.

  • Beau Blackwell
    Reply

    Massive improvement! Way to take constructive criticism and make something great out of it, David. You’re going to sell a lot more with that new hook. Thanks for sharing, Kevin!

    • Kevin Rogers
      Reply

      Thanks for your comments, Beau!

      And I’d love to see a KLT for children’s book authors.

  • David Hamilton
    Reply

    Hi Kevin and everyone.

    Wanted to say thank you and appreciate the ideas and encouragement.
    Being open to ideas and feedback, also less thinking and more action certainly creates more results I`m finding out. Been working on a facebook fanpage related to the etsy store and included a video version of the hook there – can check it out at https://www.facebook.com/yeolddigitalprints

    Cheers,
    David

    • Scott Branden
      Reply

      Hey David, may I suggest adding you Etsy URL in your FB About box… the full url and at the beginning not at the end so people can find your stuff. Also can you add lots of smaller images into your FB page as examples too. 😀

      • David Hamilton
        Reply

        Hi Scott

        Thanks for the ideas, just got started with creating facebook fanpage other day, so still finding way around. Found out etsy has way to hook up with facebook so whenever I add new item gives me option to post there. Perhaps the photo gallery would be handy for your idea on smaller examples – I`ll try out a couple of things today.

        Cheers

        • Scott Branden
          Reply

          Cool! 😀

          • David Hamilton

            Hi Scott just to let you know I made a change to the facebook page address made a few hiccups with setup so created a new one. Added some examples to the photos section, also found a handy etsy app that adds my shop to the page – can find new page at https://www.facebook.com/yeodp – cheers David

          • Kevin Rogers

            David, the page looks fantastic now.

            Great work getting the video live so fast, eoo. I think it works without a voice over but would love to hear you on it as well. If you’re not comfortable adding your own voice, you could hire a Scottish voice over artists very inexpensively. Check Fiverr and voices.com.

            Next, start thinking of a special offer (10% off for new customers?) and test a facebook ad to it.

  • Scott Branden
    Reply

    Wow! What a huge difference indeed! Thats just awesome Kevin, in fact Davids hook is so good I’d like to use it to write my own hook for my art, and for my book I’m writing at the moment thats due out later this year.

    But I’m not too sure how to make a hook around a book with a kinda crazy title i.e. FUSION – An Awesomeistically Fabularious Trio-logical Synergy of Invention, Design and Funky Sci-Fi! Let me know if you can say how I can work with this, thanks

  • Simon
    Reply

    Huge improvement. Well done.

  • Yassin
    Reply

    That hook have hooked me!

    Made me really interested to know more about David & what he does.

    My favorite hook so far

  • David Hamilton
    Reply

    Hi Kevin

    Thanks for checking out my facebook page and for the ideas. I actually redid the video again with my own voice over but between the microphone level and conversion lost some of the sound level. Will redo again once sort out the mic issue. You can check out the unlisted voice over video here http://youtu.be/Z7uXUaMGNRM – you can hear me just need to turn volume up. Actually just added some coupons a multiple purchase and a surprise thank you 10% off next purchase – etsy has handy coupon creator on there site, makes it easier.

    Cheers
    David

    • David Hamilton
      Reply

      Made a new version of the video with better sound and own voice – you can check it out here on youtube http://youtu.be/BE_QNcbh8Rk – any feedback is appreciated.

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