How to get good at anything (a simple process)

Did I tell you that I’m taking dance lessons?

Right?

It’s awkward AF.

As an older white dude with tight hips, there’s extra work to be done.

Not to mention that my instructor is a 25-yr-old dude who looks like Lenny Kravitz.

But, I’m going to get good. 

I know this because…

Even the frustrating parts are still fun. 

Those are the key ingredients at conquering any challenge… 

The outcome has to speak to you… the discovery phase must delight you… and pushing past all the reasons to quit must come naturally. 

Otherwise, it won’t stick. 

When it comes to hobbies, I think we’re too hard on ourselves about “follow through.” 

If you quit doing it, it probably wasn’t your thing. Keep looking. 

The impetus for me learning to dance well was simply that I love to see people dance. 

Even a bad–but willing–dancer exudes joy and other people feel their joy in the moment. They smile, clap along, maybe join in. 

Dancing is infectious human joy.

I wanted to do more of it. Privately and publicly. 

So, privately, I started dancing around the living room. 

Then I incorporated a mirror, so I could witness the reality of how what feels good to me actually looks in the real world. 

I began fighting against instinctual movements that looked a little too Ed Grimley.

I’m all limbs, so reigning everything by about 60% was the first fix. 

My first goal as a dancer, stylistically, was to be as smooth as a Motown artist. 

To shift and sway your body so naturally that you could do it while performing an equally important job, like singing. (Or… ideating?)

Because, the magic of great performers is how they give their full selves to the performance. 

Whatever we embrace shows up in our work. 

So, whether we’re embracing darkness or light, it will shine through. 

I’ve been through a dark period this year. Keeping focus on the light is what led me through the tunnel. 

I’m solid now. 

Dance has been a big factor in finding joy again. 

Turns out there’s science behind this.

Most of us live from the neck up.

But your body carries emotion… trauma, sadness, anger, joy… all stored in the nervous system, in ways language can’t always reach.

Movement pulls you back into your body.

It forces you to breathe, to feel your feet, to reconnect with the present moment. You literally ground yourself. Which has been shown to reduce anxiety and dissociation.

Even a simple two-step in your kitchen does it.

It’s about letting go – not following directions. 

Bitch about actually learning to dance, is that you need to do both. 

Which is where it gets frustrating. 

I remember when I was starting out as a stand-up comic, watching more experienced comics and thinking, “I’ll be able to do that soon.”

Only the hours on stage would get me there, but it would come. 

In order to get good at anything, there needs to be an element of blind ambition. 

The work that doesn’t feel like work. 

Every skilled guitarist, for example, has experienced this.

Holding that wood in their hands and strumming those strings felt like home, the rest was just time spent in the living room. 

Anything that brings you joy is worth dedicating more time to. 

I have friends who do this through, not just music and writing, but…

River rafting… glass blowing… winetasting… leather-making… comedy… film… teaching… fighting… 

Some people do it through… travel… food… sex.

Whatever your thing is, there’s likely an audience for it. 

The coup de grâce in a copywriting career is making the thing that lights you up the same thing you write about every day. 

So, recognize the things that light you up and lean in. 

It’ll make you better.