What’s your secret ingredient?

I talked with a lot of people this week. 

People I know intimately. 

People I’m meeting for the first time. 

People I’ve seen around, but never really talked with before. 

All of them with vastly different circumstances.

And one presiding issue at the forefront of their minds: FEAR. 

There’s so much to be afraid of.

External fear – the stuff we see and read in the news and online.

Internal fear, that we’re flawed and our flaws will be exposed. 

There’s great nuance to each of our special blends of fear.

New fears hit you in the gut just a little differently than past fears.

Differently than how mine hit me this time.

Not better or worse, just…. different.

It’s like a pasta sauce… 

Everyone could be working with the same ingredients, but each dish will taste unique to the person who cooked it. 

A “dash” of salt to me is not the same dash you’d toss in. 

A few extra grains, the way they land in the pot, the amount of stirring that follows, and for how long. 

Your mood and my mood in the kitchen that day. 

Did we get hit with terrible news that morning?

Or did someone randomly call to say they love us?

What kind of kitchen do we run?

Was there music playing? Laughing? Dancing?

Or careful orchestration, near silence, and meticulous measurement?

Every small condition affects the outcome.

Yet, everyone is there to make the same sauce.

And the sauce will be judged.

A winner will be announced. 

So, what about the mood of the judges?

How was their morning?

What are they afraid of today?

How clean were their pallets when they lifted the spoon to taste your sauce?

You see?

Everyone is scared. 

Funny part is, the only thing we actually fear is the unknown. 

You and I both know why doing that is useless. 

Fear and worry cannot change what happens next. 

The only thing we can control is how we set ourselves up to react to whatever happens.

When and if it does.

The Conditions. 

We get to control the conditions. 

Not externally, but internally. 

Bad stuff will come. 

Sometimes, really bad stuff. 

Our stuff. 

Other people’s stuff. 

Stuff other people leave on our doorstep. 

It’ll be there, sure as your Amazon packages. 

Even though you didn’t order any of it. 

There it is. 

And you can handle it. 

If you control your conditions. 

Have a process.

Take stock of what matters most. 

Control what you can.

Let go of the rest. 

Blast your favorite tunes and go make an amazing fucking sauce. 

You got this.

Bon appétit.